Et cetera

“Careful. We don't want to learn from this.” - Calvin

2010-11-17T19:30:00.006-05:00

Let me get some things out of the way - I did not expect this blog to get revived. Nor am I committing to keeping it alive henceforth. The strong need to vent a few thoughts is the sole motivation for this post. Now that this disclaimer is out of the way.. here's the lesson for today -

EXPERIENCE IS OVERRATED. There. I said it. I don't remember just how many times I've argued with people who considered "experience" the most valuable asset at a job. Looking back at those arguments, I realize I was somewhat naive to draw my conclusion without having any experience to show for myself. However, 3 years down the line, I (modestly) proclaim that I WAS RIGHT ALL ALONG. As least when it comes to the profession of developing software. If you are offended at this point, read on and maybe my explanation will make sense. And if it doesn't, that's too bad (do leave me a note why, though).

I don't have a problem with experience. But unlike many other people, I consider it an "add-on", rather than a primary skill. The only real technical skills required of a good software engineer are logic and basic programming aptitude. Everything else is a "nice-to-have". You know certain programming languages, good. You worked on "foo" framework or "bar" technology, better. But if you can't explain why O(n log n) is faster than O(n^2)... no technology can help you. Of late I've often heard an argument suggesting that experience compensates for ability. That, to me, is complete baloney.

Experience is actually a tricky "quality". I've come to realize that experience makes a smart person smarter; and a not-so-smart person, well, more not-so-smarter. Here's why - a smart developer knows that all his skills have an expiry date. The only way he/she can remain smart is by continuing to learn and get better. A person who doesn't understand this; however, will work under the false assumption that his experience enables him to do better work. I've seen people throw jargon, spin big tales of past projects, rattle names of 100 technologies that hardly even matter anymore (COBOL, anyone?)... but choke at the slightest hint of doing something tangible. You know you're in the company of such a "project lead", when he shows you an Object Oriented software designed entirely with a bunch of sequence diagrams (seriously, I can't make up something like that!).

I've worked with some exceptionally smart experienced people. I can guarantee that they were always good at what they did, and just kept getting better as they mastered more skills. The underlying assumption, though, is that they were always above a certain threshold of aptitude. Which is why I think the criteria for judging a software engineer should not include experience.

So if you're planning to tell someone tomorrow how good you are because of your experience, think again. Tell them, instead, your brightest idea... your solution to the hardest problem. I know that's what will get my attention!

What better way to put it...

2008-07-16T22:26:00.003-05:00

... than in a classic C&H.

Copyright Bill Waterson

Issued in public interest

2008-06-23T18:53:00.006-05:00

Please read this if you are planning to visit the United States. Hell, read this anyway. And remember it.

A hamburger does NOT contain ham. It contains beef. The origins were in Hamburg, Germany, hence the name. For all those who are going "How-did-I-just-find-out-I-ate-beef"...sorry, too bad. Swallow it! And convince yourself.
A cheeseburger is NOT two buns with cheese in the middle. It is a hamburger (refer pt. 1) with extra cheese. Now repeat that after me.. "A cheeseburger is..."

Whew.. I really needed to get that off my head.

I'm back!

2008-02-09T17:20:00.000-05:00

...going out on a floodlit football field on a chilly, windy evening that makes your ears go red
...making tackles, not particularly concerned of getting hit on an occasion or two
...getting abused in Spanish by a bunch of complete strangers
...scoring 3 goals in a 3-0 victory

Now that's what I've been missing out on, for a while!

Don't bother

2007-11-14T19:32:00.001-05:00

Why are there more questions than answers?

Maybe because this one hasn't been answered.

Or has it?

Bits n pieces

2007-11-10T23:24:00.001-05:00

This has been very refreshing. After a really long time, some cricket news that has me interested.

And this is very depressing. I really had expected that it had, if nothing else, caught some more attention.

Courtesy: Lunch break.

Dollar going down?!

2007-09-04T00:34:00.000-05:00

When you are moving between worlds, there is so much to write about. I could go on and on with comparisons, lessons learnt, opinions, inhibitions, revelations and rants... but I think the following story is what I found most amusing during my past few days.

This friend of mine is planning to go to the US for her higher studies. Naturally, she was looking for some loose dollars to carry for odd expenses. Her father found these at a most unexpected source: a woman called "bhangarwaali" (one who picks up odd items from households and sells them in the flea market).
As it turns out, some wisecrack on Prabhat road tipped her $4. She was more than happy when my friend's dad paid her Rs 160 in exchange of some bills she didn't even recognize! So much for 'foreign exchange'.

I'm loving it!

Definition

2007-07-24T14:00:00.000-05:00

Nerd n.
A person who has lunch with a laptop every afternoon, and the only thought that crosses his mind is to get some help and design a robot that gives him company.

:(

Bring me to life...

2007-07-20T15:57:00.000-05:00

I was hoping this blog silently faded in people's memories and they did not realize I was being immensely lazy not updating it for a while... But my visitors, although infrequent, would still visit.

But a question prompting me to clarify if this blog is dead has led me to write this 'relivening' post. NO, this blog is not dead!

Coming soon:
Perceptions of computer science, interesting observations, 'How baseball is unfair to Indians', and the usual rants...

Bullshit bingo

2007-04-04T16:53:00.000-05:00

A term I heard in one of my recent lectures has stuck on to me - "Bullshit Bingo".

Here's how it goes...

When you are in a meeting, make a list of all the jazzy words you expect to hear. Words like "management", "process", "distributed", "business", "supply chain", "service-oriented" and so on..
Whenever you hear one of the words, strike it off your list. When the last word is struck off, stand up and shout - "Bullshit bingo!"

The reason for these words being bullshit - well, very few people who use the word actually know what it means. So you often hear a classic like - "Our market strategy is to maintain a distributed service oriented infrastructure that optimizes our business processes and integrates our applications across multiple domains."

WHAT???

Author's special recommendation: Try Bullshit bingo at an interview with a consulting firm.

Revelations

2007-02-28T23:02:00.000-05:00

"SEI is a rage back here in India, haven't you seen it?"

"Wow! Really? Of course I've seen 'IT'. I walk past it everyday. I even get to go there often now-a-days..."

"Huh! Salaame-E-Ishq, dude! S-E-I...?"

"Sigh..."

Greatest!

2007-02-02T16:55:00.000-05:00

This is for the few people who truly understand this (and they know!)
For the rest, its another masterpiece from the Calvin and Hobbes series, to liven up your day...

Chuckle!

Copyright Bill Watterson

Resolutions

2007-01-31T23:53:00.000-05:00

2.5 months! Thats how long it has been since I last wrote here. And to come up with the excuse that I was busy, is rather lame. Coz the major part of these months was lighter than any other time I've had recently. Probably the lack of motivation / inspiration / creativity (large words make believable excuses, methinks.. In any case, if you cant convince, confuse!) was what left this blog dry for so long. It remains to be seen if the days to come are any better.

I know it is rather late to be making resolutions, but I was suffering from a hangover on New Year's (before you speculate, it had nothing to do with alcohol). So here comes my list, exactly one month late...

This year:

I will spend at least one hour every day doing some thing I WANT. Anything, be it a game of squash, a good book, a blog post, a movie (half a movie actually) I will spare that hour.
I will not give people excuses for not being in touch. Either I will improve the situation, or I will stop reasoning it out.
I will make at least one trip to India (read: one trip to India)
I will make the most of my time here, in the heart of the land of opportunity (and I have ways of doing this!)
I will dream.

2006 brought with it some memorable moments and thrilling places; some nostalgic days and care-free times; some incredible people and cherished memories.

I wonder how many of my resolutions will stay (and for how long) but if 2007 is half as good as last year, then I should be a happy man.

Baal din

2006-11-13T15:00:00.000-05:00

It is painful...
... when you need to spend $15 for a haircut.

The only silver lining: the cute girl at the hairdresser's who did my hair :)

'Masters' of the Universe

2006-11-05T20:26:00.000-05:00

While talking to a friend today, I happened to mention being flooded with requests for 'MS counselling' (incidently, he also sends me his documents for review). He thought I was being overly pretentious with my treatment of these requests. So I tried to narrate to him some of the things I have read in emails/ orkut scraps(!) over the last few weeks. Made for quite an interesting conversation!

*Disclaimer: Some people may find this pretentious / offensive. Sorry, but I can't resist it.

One dude wrote to me saying:
"Hi Tejas,
I was in ABC's class (I have no clue who ABC is), and got to know you're doing your Masters from XYZ (at this point I'm wondering if I've ever met XYZ). Can you please suggest some universities for me?
(yeah sure, thats all I need to know. Here you go...!)"

And then this..
"Hi, I am interested in O.R. (first I Google to figure out what O.R. means.. A link somewhere tells me its Operational Research)
Can you try sending a University list that I should apply to? (Ofcourse man, I've been in the field for 30 years)"

One more (a request for document review):
"Hi Tejas,
I refered your, your friends, some other recos so you may get a feeling that you have read this somewhere earlier... (no wonder I think they're familiar, for heaven's sake they're MINE!)"

And finally.. the 'master'piece
(this was on orkut, I am cursing myself for deleting it from my scrapbook!):

"Hi gayatri, (this is not my typo...)
this is J,
i have jst passed out my mechanical engg from *(I'm tempted to write the name of the college, but wont)*..
i got ur name from the *name of a popular* list
my GRE score is X
verbal ~X/2
Quant ~X/2
i have higher second for 1st year and first class for 2d and 3rd years and disti for final year..
i wanted to know if i can be eligible for addmision in fall 07'
i also wanted to know abt the AID cinditions as well as the recruitment rate after MS ..
i would like to persue my MS with mechatronics or control systems as major.....
please please please would you take some time out for me and help me out on this stuff??
I know i am disturbing u..
but please do it for me..
...(there was more text, but I ll refrain) "

(Yeah J, I ll do all of that for you. And now I know EVERYTHING bout you. Just one small request. Can you get my name right?! If you were so keen on sending this to so many people, and on writing so much, at least you could've written my name, right? Is it too much to ask for?)

(Actually, the devil in me is tempted to suggest a few universities.. oops, did I get the names wrong?!!)

Accepted, I have troubled my seniors a big deal with my requests for help in such matters. And sure, it is vital that one does some of that (all of them were very patient). I am trying to do my bit too. I really am. But pardon me, such things can only drive me into fits of uncontrollable laughter...
Mea culpa!

Vijayadashmi

2006-10-01T23:52:00.000-05:00

One would've thought I would have tuned in to all the happenings in India and activities back in Pune, being away from home. That somehow hasn't happened over the last couple of months. In fact, contradicting my own expectation, I didn't even realize when Ganeshotsav came and flew past.

Weird then, that Dassera should bring me back memories of times spent back home. Probably, I realized today, it is because I've grown up associating Dassera to my Dad. For some reason, this day of the year was specially his: whether it was waking me up really early when a rosy holiday seista beckoned, asking me to clean my bike the only time it got so much attention in the year, forcing me to run to the backyard to grab a few mango leaves, or teaching me the 'art' (I never really learnt) of stringing marigolds together. And the day always brought the kid-father relation in us out, I wasn't spared of these chores even on my 21st Dassera! :)

There's this rhyme he recites to me every Vijayadashmi (something he borrowed from his childhood)

Navratra sampli, dasara ujadla,
Moru cha baap moru la mhanala...
'Morya morya ata uuth! Ani kaamala laag...' *

Silly rhyme actually! But it somehow fitted with the occasion. This time of the year was always when exams were round the corner and I needed a move on with my work. The rhyme used to be a reminder that things outta kick in pretty soon. And I pretended successfully for about 18 years that I spent the afternoon on Dassera studying!

So it came to me as a surprise when this time around, we spoke on the phone and Dad went...
'Aare morya ata jara zop re thoda!'
Neither of us could stop laughing for the next 5 minutes! I am still smiling (and its 3 am yet again)

TeRa

*Apologies to any Non-marathi readers, but translations take the charm out of verse.
(which essentially is an excuse for the fact that I have no clue how to translate these lines in English ;) )

Moments

2006-09-09T14:32:00.000-05:00

There are times in life when everything seems uphill. You're constantly running into the wind. Just when fatigue is about to take over, desperation looms.. something happens that you cant help smiling at, something that gets you all freshened up again. Here are some of things that have kept me going over the last few days -

heading home at 4 am in the bus, and the radio plays your favorite song.
listening to your 87 year old granddad after he walks up a flight of stairs to get to the computer and scream to you into the microphone.. "Kalji ghe re bala..."
the friend who calls you up every night to ask what you had for dinner.
a rather ambitious attempt at cooking, that actually comes off!
watching your university brightly lit up, on a spectacular full moon night.
getting interrupted by '1 new mail' in your inbox from a dear friend in India, after midnight during a rather long night out.
someone who tells you he goes over to say Hi to your family once every week (thanks mate!)
going to a rowing club inaugural meet, and being welcomed by exactly the same video that you used to play at your boat club inaugurations when you organized them!
people who refuse to let you miss your lost pals, sometimes by faking a laugh at your pathetically lousy jokes!

Another long night ahead.. And another wait for that '1 new mail'...

TeRa

Of CNFs, DNFs and success...

2006-08-23T23:39:00.000-05:00

The title of this post was inspired by a diagnostic test I needed to take as part of my orientation here at ISR, CMU. Something that took me back to the days when local authors were still in vogue, and 80/100 was a believable score in an Engineering paper. The days when PLs were used for preparation, and discrete math was a piece of cake!

I've always believed that success comes as some sort of Conjunctive Normal Form, and failure as Disjunctive. What that means essentially, is that we tend to view success as a logical conjunction of various predicates. If one goes false, the result tends to be viewed as false. So no matter how well you've done for however long, one slip up and people are ready to pounce on you with "Oh, all his previous stuff must've been just luck" or "I always knew he was getting more than he deserved, so much for all the hype." Have seen this happen to a number of people, and although I would rather refrain from passing a judgement on this, its definitely a harsh truth to take.

Which brings me to my present situation. When you think you've done all it takes to clear all the hurdles you needed to get past, you end up realizing that you're actually still at the starting line. Another set of hurdles, much higher than ever before, stare you in the face. And it hardly matters who's running with you, all you need is to somehow stumble through to the finish line, and watch as another set of hurdles gets laid out ahead of you, before you can even recover your balance. Celebrate victory, and risk being left behind.

Another thing worth noting down, is that there is no place to hide anymore. I've always lived in an environment where it has been possible to bend the rules, and work around a system. My recent revelations during orientation have helped me realize that there is nothing left open to interpretation. Every rule has been laid down clear, crystal. For starters, how's the idea of being filmed every moment that you spend in every lecture for the next one year! The feeling, to put it crudely, is that of being academically stripped naked. You cannot conceal any weakness, any discrepancy. At one point or another, you WILL be found out. Every lesson ever learnt, now comes into implementation. You either step up, or step out.

Which is what makes the next phase of my life so interesting. Its almost like closing a chapter, and starting on a new slate. Challenges galore. And not a moment to lose. Nor a second chance. Lots of things to look forward to, still wondering how I'll eventually get through it all . But I'd better!

Surreal

2006-08-16T23:10:00.000-05:00

Frantic activity over the last few days for me. Running around the place, trying to fix things and figure stuff out. But its been a blast. Now I realize the significance of coming all this way for a learning experience. People, places, cultures, values.. you can never imagine, nor experience without venturing out this far. Something extremely enriching.

Had one out-of-the-world evening today.. Picture this - An outdoor movie on a hill slope on a chilly summer evening, with a giant screen put up under the clear night sky against a spectacular Pittsburgh skyline. Heavenly! I'm still on a high...

TeRa.

P.S: Just realized I havent even mentioned the movie.. Thats how much it mattered! For the record, it was "Walk the Line". Neat!

Update

2006-08-10T12:34:00.000-05:00

Well till now I think my disaster journeyfrom Pune to Pittsburgh must ve reached everyone intown! If it hasnt ..here's a brief summary..

Pune (india) to Pittsburgh (USA)
60 hours
One delayed flight
One cancelled flight
One lost friend on JFK (NY) - one of the largest & busiest airports inthe world
One 3 hour custom detainment for the friend (she was pretty much in tears after it, who wouldnt be?)
One thunderstorm
No pickup at Pitts Airport
No phone
No sutte paise (for pay phone)
One lost bag
Half a night at JFK :-)

That may sound really miserable, but to tell you thetruth it was very illuminating. Learnt a hell lot! And my bag is now back, so no worries..

Something bout Pittsburgh and my last few days here-

Pittsburgh is pretty. On the 'sangam' of two rivers (I hope I dont miss COEP much coz of that), so there arenumerous bridges. the very first trip from the airportdowntown should leave you spellbound (it left me so).Yesterday on my way to a shopping mall here, went by one of the rivers. There are loads of Boat rides on these..

Other than that, the US hasnt floored me to be honest. I think its just a tad cleaner and more systematic. And there's definitely a difference in the level ofcourtesy shown by people. All day you hear 'thanks','excuse me', ' sorry' and 'please'. Strange, but true. About the chicks out here...well...I ll write a mail to the guys. Still embarrased to talk bout it in front of the girls...

And its hot here! Over 90 F (thats about 35 C) and HUMID like HELL .. Almost Mumbai.. and in that I ve been walking almost 10 miles daily. Not bad huh?

PS:
Sorry to post excerpts from some of my mails on the blog. But guess I had no choice. I get about 2 hours per 2 days of internet time.. and have tonnes of people waiting to hear from me. So have to use this makeshift arrangement. Promise to write soon..

(Et ce) TeRa

Somethin else -
Heartfelt gratitude to the following people -
Amit and Prajakta Barve - for the hospitality and the support
Anuya and Milind- Almost complete strangers, who stayed all night to help us at JFK. Gems!
My co-passengers(!) Deepti, Gayatri (the stud who went thru the customs!) and Rasika.. made the trouble worthwhile.
..and everyone back in India who wished me well. Miss ya all

(another post written in under 5 minutes.. pardon the inconsistencies)

So long...

2006-08-02T09:41:00.000-05:00

This will probably be my most spontaneous post to date.
Coz as I write this, a car waits to pick me up outside. My bags are packed, the drawers in my cupboard empty, and my room totally lonely.
My last post from this side of town.
No time left. Signing off...
TeRa.

...and then there were none

2006-07-27T03:44:00.000-05:00

I started from home, all excited to be spending the day out. Soon, people joined me on my way, and what was a rather uneventful drive in an empty car before, became an incredibly euphoric setting. Long lost memories, character sketches, no-brainer jokes and so much more. Nobody cared where we were going, nobody ever had... And we made our own music on the way. As long as we were together, nothing seemed to matter. Our worries, fears, tensions, almost literally took a backseat.

But as I made my way back, reality struck. No matter how hard I tried, there'd come the time when each of these people would go off board. I saw them till they disappeared, one after the other. Till ultimately I was left back where I had started. Ideally, given that equilibrium be restored, I should have the same guy who started out all alone. But this was different. Worse. Much worse. And yet it was totally worth it, and I had come out so much richer for the experience. But the lump in the throat wouldn't budge. There wasn't any music now. I kept driving, now in solitude.

As I sit and reminisce today, I cant help but draw a metaphor to my life spent over the last few years. Surreal...

R & D

2006-06-20T12:49:00.000-05:00

(probably Shubhanan will best understand the multi-layered pun (!) in the title to this blog post.)

The top 10 things that a research project taught me over the last year (in no particular order)-

No matter what your project topic is, if you have a great guide, then the project invariably comes off well.
Software companies pamper their employees (and often project trainees too!)
Computers are to computer science, what telescopes are to astronomy.
You know much lesser than you think you do.
Very few things in research are tangible.
You learn more from conversations with great people, than any text ever published.
With some awesome company (pun intended), work can be loads of fun.
Patience and persistence are the most underrated virtues for an engineer.
Projects do not emerge out of brain-waves.
It aint over till the fat lady sings!

Heaven

2006-06-20T08:07:00.000-05:00

I am on my way back from TCS after our final presentation, breaking the only ties that remained between me and my engineering degree.
It's started raining, I'm wet but not drenched, and a cool breeze blows through my hair.
My I-pod's playing Cloud No.9 , and it seems to be giving by bike an extra boost!
I'm literally shouting the song out to my heart's content, and everyone on the road keeps looking at me. And yet, I dont seem to care.

I just had a beautiful moment.

"BE Practical"

2006-05-04T13:10:00.000-05:00

...has been the motto of my classmates through these last 4 years of Computer Science. So it isnt unusual to hear quotes like "Who cares if I ever need to use this again?" , or "Engineer hotoy na? Mag kasa honar yacha kaay sambandh?!", or "Tension nahi leneka, tu bhi floppy saath mein rakh". Must admit that this often used to draw my ire earlier, but soon I got used to it in such a way that I started viewing the funny side of it.

* This post was inspired during a conversation with buddies before our 'last' practical exam in BE (I am sure we are all gonna pass, the external didnt know a thing ;-) )
What started as an attempt to get in that last minute preparation, ended up turning into a hilarious narrative of some unforgettable incidents, unbelievable examiners and unimaginable stunts during practical examinations in COEP.

- Pannya is sitting next to this guy Y, frantically typing away at his keyboard. Y seems all relaxed although he has what is universally considered to be the toughest program in the lot.

Concerned, Pannya asks "Aare tula jamnaar ahe ka?"

"Relax re. Floppy ahe na!" Shirt pocket madhe dakhvun.

"Aare pan takayla vel nahi milala tar? Lavkar kaay te karun ghe na!"

"Kaay ghai ahe?" Proceeds to show CD in trouser pocket.

"Cool!"

45 minutes later, Y has still not used his resources.

Pannya: "The external is in the lab now, you cant possibly take that CD out!"

Y (coolly) : "Then what is this USB for?!" (never forget that a trouser has 2 pockets!)...and then the bottomline - "He shikla nahi tar kaay shiknar re, Comp chya 4 varshat!"

- There was this experiment being performed in one of the labs of App Sci. Shubhanan is trying his best to get some readings on a piece of equipment that nobody's ever heard of, since. A guy from class is determined not to let this attempt succeed, and keeps toggling the power switch. After a while, Shub loses patience and goes " E bh$#@%!, switch ON kar ki!" , only to turn around and find Prof. Ekhande at the switchboard. I havent heard him swear in college again for a really long time!

There have been so many of these. There's no place on the face of earth where practicals & prac exams are conducted quite the way they are in COEP Comp. Absolutely no doubt about that!

Blank Noise

2006-04-08T12:04:00.000-05:00

Its been about a month since I accidentally stumbled onto the Blank Noise project via Gaurav Sabnis' post. Must admit that I was extremely troubled by the things I read. Although I followed it, I never really got down to participating in it by writing myself...
But over the last few days, when a couple of conversations with friends took a rather ugly turn towards the topic people term "eve teasing", I was shocked. Incidents in this so-called "safe" city of mine, stories of people close to me...And everyone seemed to have some story to tell...
I have since been extremely enraged, disturbed, frustrated, and saddened.
Today I feel ashamed of the universal category of "men", and extremely offended at being called a part of "it"...

Joining da 40 club!

2006-03-07T12:18:00.000-05:00

Another sem gone....result time... I am 'satisfied' with my result (to be read as: I havent done too well, yet again)...

The strange thing is that I am actually happy with what I ve got. Strange, not because this is meagre (definitely not so), nor because it is unjust (I dare not ask for more!), but because I'm myself surprised by the low standards I've set for myself. I've never been the 'academically competitive' kinds, so ranks and stuff hardly ever mattered to me. But the least anyone can expect is to improve on one's own performance. That indicates progress. What I've managed to achieve over the last three years is exactly the opposite. Consistently! And strangely (there goes that word again), today I feel disturbed by it...

And yet, if someone was to hand me this result once again tomorrow, I'd still be content. More than content, in fact. My thrill comes from the fact that the mark I'd set was itself so low, that any jump was still enough to cross it. Plus I had a convenient excuse handy (yet again!) , just in case...

Another 'significant' outcome of this result was my maiden foray into the 40s.. And in what style.. scored a perfect 40 on my elective...So much for choosing subjects!

To BE, you've gotta BElive

2006-02-22T12:57:00.000-05:00

After a rather prolonged sabbatical, its good to start afresh. My compulsive procrastination has ensured a rather dry blog with (probably) weary visitors... My apologies...

But a lot has been going on all this while.. The realization has dawned that a lot of the things I ll be doing now will be my last instances of doing them for some time. So might as well make the most of it. The end result is a host of activities including those 'never-tried-before' stunts, 'always-wanted-to-do' kide, amidst the regular, unadulterated fun. Some excerpts -

- my last punt race : It was hilarious. P-4 - "Attention...go" and moments later Shubhanan is rolling in the punt trying desperately to get some footing. He doesnt do so till half the race is over. We lose bad...

-my last paper presentation: Not that I ve done many, but this one will be remembered.. Our turn, we need to copy our PPT on their Comp, and voila...the CD contains 'Rang de Basanti' , and now its on the projector! Class....The presentation sucks, we lose bad...

-my last badminton tournament- is coming up this week. So suddenly the secretary is all worked up with 'lets practice'..
Reminder- No sport can be brushed up in 3 days, specially when the physical condition of the players is beyond repair
Forecast - Yeah....we ll lose bad..!

-my last lecture - I hope that happens sometime this sem... Or I ll have to attribute this tag to some lecture 6 months back.. Such a shame!

All in all, a time for frenzied activity and innumerable escapades. (some of my seniors will relate to this). Hoping to put up more of such stuff soon...

Metamorphosis

2006-01-10T03:21:00.000-05:00

"But we want you to be part of the team."

"I cannot play, I ve lost it. I simply am unable to make the same strokes again."

"So what? You still beat others on the team. You' re good enough to make it."

"The issue is not whether I am good enough to be on the team. I know I still make the cut. But isnt sport about bettering yourself every time you re on the field? It pains me when I realize that my body fails to respond to my mind. The game is still up there in the mind, but the moves now desert me. I ve lost to people I never dreamt of losing to before. I may still bring out that drive of gone years, but who's gonna show the same flair? The past haunts me. I was never the best, but at least was proud enough to hold my own on the court. All I wish for is enough weapons in my armour, to fight. That, my friend, doesnt exist anymore. The body aches, the soul cries."

"But we ve seen you show signs of that past self every now and then..."

"Maybe what you say is true. But it is the long periods between these moments that frustrate me. The smash still lands hard in my opponent's court, but my feet land harder on the way down. Its not about growing older by the day, its just that the body becomes rusty. I dont think I can summon the courage to sweat it out all over again. Comebacks are fantasies. You know when it is time to stop."

"It isnt about being at your best all the time. Everyone has good and bad days. You win some, you lose some...But you cant stop, can you?"

"I do not fear losing. I fear the idea of not being able to put up a show. I dread not being able to fulfil my own expectations. I am not scared of my opponents, nor of falling. But I need to know that every time I fall, I can pick myself up. I ve lost both, the motivation to work hard and improve, and the stubbornness to ignore my mistakes and continue. I ll either be close enough to my best, or I wont play at all."

"So are you trying to say that you wont ever make it again?"

"Even I dont know the answer to that. Maybe one day I will be at peace with my shadows from the past. Only time will tell..."

Whoever said it doesnt matter whether you win or lose, obviously lost.

- Martina Navratilova

2005 Memiors

2005-12-27T13:38:00.000-05:00

A few things I ll remember 2005 for-

1. Rowing
January - "Hey lets work our asses off this time around...n we re in with a chance!"
December - After a few (rather embarassing) defeats : "We row ONLY for fun"

2. Competitive exams
Everyone you know was ' giving ' some exam. I wonder why we still cant accept 'taking an exam' as a simple phrase in the English language. I ve heard it so often all year, with GATEs and GREs and CATs and what not flying left right and center. Cryptic was in, uncomplicated was out. English was in, everythin else was out. Day in n day out all you could see were people with 'flash cards' , strange books n weird workbooks (last heard of this type of thing in Std 7).

3. Padma
Cant imagine what this year would ve been without this joint. I ve spent half my evenings in 2005 at this little restaurant (I wonder if you can even call it that) with a select set of people. A great group of friends and a cup of coffee can do wonders!

4. The Indian hockey team
I m still trying to figure out why I wanted to include this head, but I guess its just out of a strong feeling of sympathy. While the country was all ears to the on & off-field escapades of the Tendulkars, Gangulys, Chappells and Pawars; another Indian team languished at the bottom of the table among giants of world hockey. This was once the same team that could stake a claim for Olympic glory. Now one pitied them for the lack of attention, investment and effort that goes into the national sport. They looked way out of league of the rest, but for a few face saving performances thanks to some dedicated pros. The Indian Coach was last heard yelling "Viren, fall back!"

5. Blogging
2005 introduced me to the "blogosphere" (I still wonder why they call it that). What started off in a bang, mellowed into a dull, inactive web page. In case anyone is wondering if 2006 brings with it a resolution on my part to post more often...tough luck dude, that aint happening!

Dreamz....limited!

2005-09-13T22:07:00.000-05:00

Its been a month since I last wrote...Things have been goin at a frenzied rate of late(not to forget the innumerable hours of "timepass" to fill in the gaps!). I never imagined a movie would be inspiring one of my posts... But here i am..
There's something thats been bothering me for a while...I DONT DREAM! Or rather..I dont have A DREAM!
Of course I think about what I d be doing sometime from now, but I am still not able to answer when confronted with a- "So....what is it you really want to do?" Yeah, maybe one day I ll be having the education of my choice, or working in a big company, or earning good money (maybe!) But what next? I simply cannot think of something I'd be doing, or hope to be doing, that is remotely special or unattempted..
Is it just lack of imagination on my part? Or ambition? Or determination? I wonder...
Maybe I sleep too sound to have any inkling of a dream ;-)

Anyway, the movie is one of the better ones that I ve seen for a while...Recommended to me by a very special friend.. I hope all her dreams come true...

Star

2005-08-12T10:54:00.000-05:00

There's a road - long and winding
The lights are blindin' - but it gets there
Don't give up - don't look back
There's a silver linin' - it's out there somewhere

Everybody wants an answer - everybody needs a friend
We all need a shinin' star on which we can depend
N' so tonight we're gonna wish upon a star
We never wished upon before...

There'll be times - in your life
Ya when you' be dancin' n' shit - but you ain't gettin it
But don't get disillusioned - no, don't expect too much
Cuz if what you have is all you can get - just keep on tryin' - it just ain't happened yet

Everybody wants ta be a winner - everybody has a dream
We all need a shinin' star when things ain't what they seem
So tonight we're gonna wish upon a star
We never wished upon before

Everybody wants some kindness - everybody needs a break
We all need a shinin' star when things get hard to take
So tonight we're gonna wish upon a star
We never wished upon before

-- Bryan Adams (18 till I die)

Trespassers will be recruited!

2005-07-17T14:23:00.000-05:00

Got placed in IBM the other day.
I guess what is expected when you reach (technically) the most important phase of your college life and get through it successfully, is a general feeling of ecstasy. However, in my case, elation just skipped me...
The moment I heard my name on the 'selected' list, it was more relief than anything else. Dont get me wrong, I was really happy (more so, since Sagar and Rajeev also got through) but looking at other people's faces (with tears rolling down(!)) I thought our reaction was rather cold..

I sometimes wonder whether it was a result of over-confidence or even complacence, but then I think otherwise...

It is true that I was slightly less tense than others, probably coz I believe that during COEP campus recruitment there is indeed a place-me(a)nt for everyone. But what struck me was the lack of a sense of achievement. When a company short-lists 103 (!) people through an aptitude test (I wonder...did they even check all the papers?) and then goes on to recruit a whopping 49, you know you havent done too much to deserve what you get. That too when your competition has already been conveniently cleared by a previous company and you are practically the topper in your class! On top of that, people's account of their interviews confirmed my earlier suspicion that the company had already made its choices...When the odds are so heavily stacked in your favour, you somehow get robbed of a feeling of success (btw that isnt going to stop me from celebrating !!), what prevailed in my case was relief of getting away from a hectic schedule of daily rounds to the TNP dept.
Really tough luck for those who didnt make it, but I m confident they have much better things in store...

Couldnt resist writing this one story that I heard:
A friend(from SSPMS) got placed the other day in some company. In their college the custom is- when you get placed, you volunteer to help during recruitment for the next company. So this guy walks up the next day but is unfortunately late. The company executive stops him in the door and says "I m sorry my friend, but you are late".
"I am sorry sir, but YOU are late. I am already placed."
Howzzat for attitude?!

For-moolah-one

2005-06-20T11:42:00.000-05:00

I must admit that my interest in F-1 has substantially deteriorated in recent years. Last night promised to be a pleasant departure from this feeling, as I sat up in full preparation (this essentially means with a bottle of Coke, some chips and my favourite Ferrari shirt) for Indianapolis.
What followed was one of the most bizarre sights I've ever witnessed in televised sport. It wasnt even worthy of being called a race, with only 3 of the 10 teams competing. What I found more amusing was that Ferrari were blamed for their unrelenting stand on the 'track' issue. This is the same team that was hailed and followed by the rest through the previous seasons. Now that others are in dominance, they are expected to compromise. This is a perfect example of a sport governing body manipulating the rules of the game to appease certain participants (or more accurately, their sponsors). Which brings me to the million dollar question- Is sport only about winning? Was M.Schumacher justified in going all out against the minnows ( and his own teammate on one occasion ) during last night's race ?
I believe he was...
Why would a sportsman, given victory on a platter, sacrifice it to be the 'bigger man'? Competitive sport in the present day, really is all about winning, in image personified by Schumacher. There exists a certain degree of ruthlessness in champions which shouldnt be misunderstood as a lack of sportsmanship. Last night he was not violating any rule (or for that matter any ethic) of his sport, it was just that his opponents (Michelin) were plain incompetent. Budging in such a situation (specially when you are in the latter half of a rather unproductive season) is shear stupidity.
On a slightly lighter note- it was very encouraging to see Narain Karthikeyan in the points on Sunday. Finally the poor guy will get some moolah ( for the uninitiated, Narain was actually paying to drive his Jordan!) . The team must've been elated ( and the sponsors too- imagine the air time they got!) Hopefully the dawn of an Indian era in the world's richest sport...

Shree

2005-06-10T23:46:00.000-05:00

I have been contemplating writing for quite a while now, but wasnt quite sure whether I would like to go public with it. My first attempt in writing came few months back when rowing was temporarily taken away from me; and yesterday as I watched storming winds and heavy downpour signalling the onset of monsoons, the nemesis of the rowing season , I figured it might be a while till we went back to college...so heck! Why not write...
Finally I have my own logical space...
Cheers to a new milieu!